I believe in the basic good of people
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Co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory
It can be difficult to maintain faith in the goodness of people when so much of what we see and hear focuses on conflict, selfishness, and people hurting one another. News stories often emphasize what goes wrong, and after a while, it can begin to shape how we think about the world around us.
Part of the reason is something psychologists call negativity bias. Our brains tend to pay more attention to negative experiences than positive ones, a tendency that likely helped our ancestors recognize danger and protect themselves. Although that instinct still serves a purpose, it can also make the world seem less kind than it really is.
But awareness gives us a choice. We can recognize the negative without allowing it to define our expectations of other people. And sometimes, an unexpected experience reminds us just how much kindness exists in everyday life.
Choosing to See the Good in People
I believe people, in general, would rather help than hurt. Of course, there are exceptions, so I don’t run blindly into situations or conversations. However, I try to assume good intentions first.
The stories I’m drawn to in the news are the ones about kindness and strangers helping each other. Those stories renew my faith in people.
How the Kindness of Strangers Changed My Day
Several years ago, I was traveling internationally to attend a retreat and lead two workshops. It was the week of the crazy ice storms in the DFW area, and it was touch and go for a few days leading up to my early morning flight. But the flight wasn't cancelled, so I scheduled a ride to the airport with a car service and off I went at 4:00 a.m. one morning.
There was still a lot of ice on the road and I was fortunate to have an excellent driver. He was also friendly and interesting, so we chatted amicably during the 40-minute ride.
He dropped me off, I waved goodbye, walked about 30 steps, and realized I had left my phone in the car. In all the years I’ve traveled for work and fun, this was a first for me. A cold form of panic set in – I was traveling alone and definitely needed my phone to connect with people at the retreat.
I approached a young lady walking by, explained my situation and asked if I could use her phone to text my husband so he could contact the driver. She graciously agreed. Then we waited. After five minutes, there was no response and she needed to get going. She wished me luck and moved on.
I found a spot to sit and pulled out my laptop to attempt to connect with someone via email. A very nice couple sat down nearby and said hello. I used the opening to tell them what was going on and they volunteered their phones for me to try connecting with my husband again. This time I got through and he was able to contact the driver. The couple stayed with me and chatted while I coordinated the phone delivery with my husband.
While this was going on, the first young lady stepped out of the security line to find me and let me know my husband had responded to the text on her phone. When she heard I had managed to contact him another way, she smiled, said, “Great!” and hurried back to her group in line to continue her journey.
The driver returned about 30 minutes after he had dropped me off and handed me my phone with a smile.
The couple waited to ensure I had my phone and then they headed for their flight.
Why Small Acts of Kindness Matter
The driver, the young lady, and the couple all had their own agendas at 5:00 am that morning. Yet they interrupted their activities to help a stranger.
They didn’t ask about my politics or beliefs. They just helped. And when I expressed my gratitude, they each downplayed their efforts with a response of “No problem. Safe travels.”
I smiled for the rest of that trip. Truth be told, I smile a lot anyway, but it was more meaningful in some way having just experienced the kindness of strangers.
Paying Kindness Forward
I'm sharing this experience because it reminded me that small acts of kindness can make an extraordinary difference in someone's day. The people who helped me probably saw their actions as nothing special. But to me, their willingness to stop, listen, and help transformed a frightening moment into a lasting reminder of the goodness in people.
Kindness doesn't always require a grand gesture. Sometimes it is a smile, a thoughtful word, holding a door, or taking a few minutes to help someone who needs it. These moments may seem small to the person offering them, but they can mean a great deal to the person receiving them.
So, when the news makes the world feel less caring than you would like, remember that everyday life tells another story. Look for the good in people. Notice the kindness around you. And whenever you have the opportunity, be the person who makes someone else's day a little better.
Until next time, celebrate your strengths, look for kindness, and laugh a little every day!
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About Lynda-Ross
Lynda-Ross Vega is a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd. She specializes in helping corporate leaders, entrepreneurs, and individuals with interpersonal communications, team dynamics, personal development, and navigating change. Lynda-Ross is co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory, a revolutionary behavioral psychology theory and assessment system that teaches people how to unleash their natural strengths and build the life and career they dream of.
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