Blog

Holiday perfectionism—it’s something most of us have wrestled with, even if we don’t call it that.

Whether it’s orchestrating the perfect meal, finding the perfect gift, or creating the perfect moment, the pressure to make everything just right during the holidays can be overwhelming.

I’ve always been intrigued by the push and pull of different Perceptual Styles—how our unique approaches can either complement or clash in the fast-paced world of technology. One such fascinating combo? The interaction between Activity (my Perceptual Style) and Methods.

When you meet someone with the same Perceptual Style as you, it can feel like discovering a long-lost twin. That’s what happened when I met my friend Cesar at work. We both have the Activity Perceptual Style, and from the very first meeting, we just clicked.

When people talk about introverts and extroverts, the conversation often boils down to whether someone enjoys social interactions or not. But in reality, introversion and extroversion are much deeper concepts that are tied to where we derive meaning in our lives. Understanding which one you lean towards can help guide decisions that lead to a more fulfilling life.

The Importance of Feeling Seen and Heard

Human connection isn’t just about communication; it’s about feeling seen and heard. We all long to feel like we belong. Have you ever felt lonely in a crowd? Despite people surrounding you, there’s no real connection. That absence of connection is isolation. It’s something I’ve been reflecting on recently, particularly when thinking about a woman I follow on social media. She shares delightful snippets of her life, often paired with a “Scots word of the day,” and her posts are enjoyed by thousands. But, behind the scenes, she faces a darker side—she’s harassed, even stalked. It’s a horrible price to pay for the illusion of connection that social media can create. Her experience illustrates that while we may feel known or validated online, it’s often a one-sided relationship that can easily become toxic.

The Clash of Styles: Activity Meets Flow

As you know, my Perceptual Style is Activity. I’ve always been drawn to quick action and the concept of continuous improvement. I’m naturally curious about how things work, and I really enjoy technology… that probably explains my 25-year career with IBM.

In a post from January 2022, I explored a common reaction to life not going as we want, think it should, or expect it to: the belief that something is inherently wrong with the world or with ourselves.

While preparing for the launch of our website and book in Spanish, I worked closely with Santiago, one of our native speakers, to ensure everything was as translingual as possible.

Expectations play a significant role in our lives. We set them for ourselves, anticipating our actions and upcoming experiences. But we also use them to measure other people's actions, judging whether they meet our preconceived notions of how they should behave. Expectations are deeply rooted in our past experiences and the values we've established for ourselves. They can be based on reality or our hopes for something different.

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb must really want to change.

This joke, often shared in therapy circles, underscores a fundamental truth about the nature of change. As a psychologist with 47 years of experience, I've dedicated my career to helping people navigate life's transitions. Change is a fascinating subject for me, one I've seen manifest in countless ways through my clients' journeys.