Just Say No to New Year’s Resolutions!
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Co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory
Why New Year's Resolutions Often Fail
We love New Year's resolutions. We make them, break them, and sometimes even make fun of them. Every January brings renewed enthusiasm for changing our habits, improving our lives, and becoming better versions of ourselves. Yet despite our best intentions, many of those resolutions gradually fade as familiar routines take over.
Entrepreneurs are no exception. At the beginning of each year, we're surrounded by messages encouraging us to make this our best year ever. There's something appealing about the idea of a fresh start, as though changing the calendar could somehow erase old habits, remove obstacles, and make personal transformation easier.
Oh, were it so!
Why Changing Who You Are Doesn't Work
As a seasoned psychologist, observer of human behavior, and a true believer in the concept of character, I know there is no easy road to change. The best predictor of someone’s future behavior is their past behavior, and the unconscious decisions we have made about ourselves, money, success, etc. shift only with great sustained effort, time, and often great pain.
Sounds like I am pretty negative about the prospects for change, and often I am. In my experience people usually either want to change who they are, or they want to change only one or two aspects of their behavior without looking at the systemic forces working against them to maintain the status quo.
Too often, people seek coaching because their efforts to change themselves have left them frustrated and discouraged. They assume that if they could just find the right technique or develop enough determination, they could become fundamentally different people. But there's an important distinction between changing our behavior and trying to change who we naturally are. When we focus entirely on becoming someone we're not, we risk overlooking the strengths and talents that already provide a foundation for meaningful growth.
The Hidden Forces That Resist Change
One reason behavioral change can be so difficult is that the people around us may not share our desire to change. As I regularly remind people, "When you decide to make changes, you must remember that those around you did not make the same decision, and many of them have a vested interest in keeping you the way you are." This doesn't mean they deliberately intend to undermine your efforts. Often, they're simply comfortable with familiar routines and relationships. Recognizing these influences allows us to anticipate resistance, communicate our intentions, and create a more realistic plan for sustaining change.
Building Lasting Change Around Your Natural Strengths
I am much more optimistic about change when it begins with discovering, claiming, and celebrating our natural skills and talents. This is one of the central ideas behind Perceptual Style Theory. Understanding how we naturally perceive the world helps us recognize the strengths that come most easily to us and the situations in which those strengths can flourish. Rather than spending all our energy trying to become someone else, we can focus on developing what is already naturally ours. That shift can replace frustration with satisfaction and create opportunities for more meaningful, sustainable change.
I am also hopeful about behavioral change when people approach it with an awareness of the larger systems that influence their lives. Our habits, relationships, responsibilities, and daily environments all play a role in whether change can be sustained. Enthusiasm and determination are valuable, but they cannot replace a thoughtful plan that anticipates how changing one part of our lives may affect others. Lasting change becomes more achievable when we recognize these connections and prepare for the adjustments they require.
So, where does that leave our New Year's resolutions? Perhaps the real opportunity isn't in making another ambitious promise to become someone different. It's in taking a more thoughtful look at who we already are, understanding the habits and circumstances that influence our behavior, and choosing changes that build on our natural strengths. Meaningful change rarely happens simply because the calendar turns to January. It happens when we understand ourselves well enough to create a path forward that we can realistically sustain.
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About Dr. Gary M. Jordan, Ph.D.
Gary M. Jordan, Ph.D., has over 35 years of experience in clinical psychology, behavioral assessment, individual development, and coaching. He earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology – Berkeley. He is co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory, a psychological framework and assessment system designed to help people recognize and develop their natural strengths. He is a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., a consulting firm specializing in helping people discover their skills and talents.
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