How to Never Sell Again – The Art of Persuasion and Influence
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If you're like most people, the idea of selling fills you with fear and dread.
Usually, the image that comes to mind is that of a stereotypical used-car salesperson: backslapping, glad-handing, insincere, gifted with the ability to talk endlessly, and always ready with a high-pressure closing technique.
Very few of us want to see ourselves that way.
Yet, in reality, you sell to people every day. You may not think of it as selling, but whenever you try to help someone understand your point of view, consider a new possibility, or agree to a course of action, you're practicing some form of persuasion and influence.
What if selling didn't have to feel like selling at all?
You're Already Persuading People Every Day
Think about the conversations you have during an ordinary day.
When you discuss your views on climate change with a coworker, you're trying to influence how that person understands an issue.
When you persuade your child to pick up her clothes, you're encouraging a particular behavior.
When you convince your spouse that a different restaurant would be a better choice for dinner, you're presenting a point of view and hoping it will be accepted.
In each situation, you're doing something that resembles selling, even though you probably wouldn't describe it that way.
Without the ability to communicate what we want, explain what we value, and help others appreciate what we have to offer, navigating everyday relationships would be much more difficult.
So perhaps the problem isn't the activity itself. Perhaps the problem is what we think the word selling means.
What If You Thought of Selling as Persuasion?
What would happen if, instead of thinking about selling, you began practicing the art of persuasion and influence?
What if your goal wasn't to pressure someone into agreeing with you, but to help that person understand your perspective and recognize the value of what you're offering?
How would that change your feelings about the activities involved?
Persuasion doesn't have to involve manipulation, pressure, or an artificial sales personality. At its best, it is an exchange of ideas that creates understanding and allows people to make informed choices.
You can explain your perspective, listen to someone else's concerns, and look for common ground without becoming someone you're not.
And that's where understanding your Perceptual Style becomes especially valuable.
How Perceptual Style Influences Persuasion
Knowing how to persuade and influence others is an important skill in both our personal and professional lives. But we don't all approach persuasion in the same way.
According to Perceptual Style Theory™, each of us has an innate way of perceiving the world. That perspective influences what we notice, what we consider important, how we communicate, and how we naturally approach interactions with others.
Those differences can also influence how we try to persuade someone and which approaches feel comfortable or uncomfortable to us.
Some people naturally emphasize possibilities and the excitement of a new idea. Others prefer to explain the details, establish a clear rationale, or focus on practical outcomes.
Still others may be especially attentive to relationships, shared experiences, or the concerns of the people involved.
These are different ways of approaching communication, not a ranking of which approach is best.
When you recognize your natural approach, you can begin using it more intentionally rather than trying to imitate someone else's idea of what a persuasive person should look or sound like.
Learn more about the six Perceptual Styles and their natural strengths.
Persuasion Works Best When You Understand Others
Understanding your own Perceptual Style is only part of the picture.
The people you're communicating with may perceive the same situation very differently. What seems like an exciting opportunity to you may feel uncertain or overwhelming to someone else.
What you consider a convincing explanation may leave another person with unanswered questions.
That's why effective persuasion involves more than presenting your point of view. It also requires curiosity about how the other person understands the situation.
Rather than simply repeating your argument more forcefully, you can ask questions, listen carefully, and consider which information will help the other person evaluate your ideas.
You don't have to abandon your natural communication style. You can use your strengths while becoming more aware of the different perspectives people bring to the conversation.
The goal isn't to win every conversation. It's to create enough understanding for a meaningful exchange of ideas.
Influence Others Without Becoming Someone You're Not
If the word sales gives you the willies, perhaps it's time to stop thinking about selling as something that requires a particular personality or a collection of uncomfortable techniques.
Instead, think about the ways you already communicate naturally and effectively.
What do people appreciate about your approach? When do they seem most receptive to your ideas? Which interactions leave you feeling confident and energized rather than awkward or uncomfortable?
The answers can provide valuable clues about your natural strengths.
Understanding your Perceptual Style can help you recognize those strengths and develop a more authentic approach to persuasion and influence.
You may discover that you don't need to learn how to become a salesperson at all. You simply need to become more aware of how you naturally connect with others and how to use those abilities thoughtfully.
Take Action: Discover Your Natural Persuasion Style
TAKE ACTION: Today, intentionally look for three opportunities to persuade or influence someone in an ordinary, respectful conversation.
Notice the specific behaviors you use and the reactions they seem to create.
- Which approaches seem to have a positive effect?
- Which behaviors seem to make people less receptive?
- When do you feel most natural and comfortable?
- How does listening to the other person's perspective change the conversation?
Don't measure your success only by whether someone agrees with you. Pay attention to the quality of the interaction and what you learn about yourself and the other person.
You may be surprised to discover that you're already more persuasive than you realize.
When you understand your natural strengths and appreciate the perspectives of others, persuasion can become less about selling and more about connecting.
Have you discovered a natural way of persuading or influencing others? What approaches work best for you? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Interested in understanding how your natural strengths influence the way you communicate and connect with others? Explore our Perceptual Style Assessment™ and discover more about your natural approach to the world.
© Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., All Rights Reserved
About Lynda-Ross Vega
Lynda-Ross Vega is a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd. She specializes in helping corporate leaders, entrepreneurs, and individuals with interpersonal communications, team dynamics, personal development, and navigating change. Lynda-Ross is co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory™, a behavioral framework and assessment system that helps people recognize their natural strengths and apply them to their personal and professional lives.
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