How Do You Define Success?
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What Does It Really Mean to Be Successful?
I recently attended a conference for entrepreneurs and small business owners. As you would suspect, the main topic of discussion was how to be a success. It was clear to me that everyone who attended the conference did so because they want to be successful. What struck me was that while every speaker discussed how to become successful, no one clearly defined what success actually meant.
I had the opportunity to speak with many of the conference attendees, and in doing so I heard a lot that gave me pause to think about success and how it is defined. The default definition, I have discovered, is the second provided by dictionary.com: the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like. Most of those I spoke with included some aspect of this definition in their view of success.
However, the more time I spent talking with each person, the less obvious this seemingly clear definition of success became. In my conversations, words like fulfillment, happiness, meaning, and purpose began to creep in or were implied in what was said.
Why Wealth Alone Doesn't Define Success
Many people spend their working lives in jobs that provide financial security but little personal satisfaction. Some may be considered successful by conventional standards, yet feel unfulfilled. Can we really call someone with money and power who is miserable a success? It is a question worth pondering.
The Challenge of Measuring Personal Fulfillment
Success is such an elusive term, I think, because it is not the same for everyone. And it is easier to pursue an easily definable, measurable, and concrete symbol rather than an abstract concept. How much money I have, how much I charge an hour, or how many clients I have are much easier to quantify than my happiness, meaning, and purpose.
However, while it is easier to measure success by such concrete symbols, doing so creates a dilemma that can derail achieving less easily measured success markers.
Happiness, meaning, fulfillment, and purpose are all idiosyncratic, i.e., what works for me doesn’t necessarily work for you. But if I am talking to more than two or three people about success and “how to”, it is impossible to address individualized definitions of success. It is much easier to talk about money, fame, and honors.
Success Is About Who You Become
But by focusing on concrete measures of success, I end up focusing on the end rather than the means. It is much like Steve Martin’s advice on how to become a millionaire: “OK, first you get a million dollars.” Easy to say, hard to do!
The late Jim Rohn said that “Becoming a millionaire is not about the money, it’s about the person you have become in the process of becoming a millionaire.”
Success is much the same way. It’s not about the money, fame, position, or honors, it’s about the person you have become to attract those things into your life.
Define Success on Your Own Terms
So take the time to reflect on how you define success. You don't have to take money, fame, position, or honors off the list. Just recognize that these things, in and of themselves, do not define success. Take the time to explore and define who you are and the skills and talents you bring to the marketplace that will allow you to be successful.
Ensure that when you do achieve success, it is your definition, not someone else’s.
“If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all.” Anna Quindlen
Understanding your natural strengths and the way you experience the world can be an important part of defining success on your own terms. When you recognize what genuinely motivates and fulfills you, it becomes easier to pursue goals that reflect who you are rather than someone else's expectations.
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About Dr. Gary M. Jordan, Ph.D.
Gary Jordan, Ph.D., has over 35 years of experience in clinical psychology, behavioral assessment, individual development, and coaching. He earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology – Berkeley. He is co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory, a revolutionary psychological assessment system that teaches people how to unleash their deepest potentials for success. He’s a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., a consulting firm that specializes in helping people discover their true skills and talents.
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