Blog

Human beings have a difficult time with the idea of limitations. We don’t want to be told there are things we cannot do, which is why we hold stubbornly to the idea that “if we really put our minds to it,” there’s nothing we can’t accomplish.

Celebration, recognition, transitions, ritual.  If you are like us, the next couple of weeks are filled with milestone occasions.  For Gary and his wife Sarah, it’s the celebration of her mom’s 90th birthday.  For Ricardo and me it’s the high school graduation of our oldest grandson.  Family celebrations have such potential for joy, but they also have equal potential for a lot of stress.

I had a professor in graduate school who defined the difference between counseling and therapy this way: Counseling consists of “technological input to help people readjust their behavior so that they can effectively function in the predominant society.” He defined therapy, on the other hand, as the process of “altering the underlying foundation of the individual in a way that sets the person into a new world.

A couple of years ago, I presented Your Talent Advantage, the psychological assessment and business development system I helped to create, to a networking group.  I thought the focus of the talk was pretty straightforward: the major points behind Perceptual Style Theory (on which our assessments are based), the six innate Perceptual Styles, natural skills versus acquired skills, and how you’re more likely to succeed when you focus on the former.

When I began my career as a psychologist, I was twenty-five years old, having completed my doctoral degree after twenty-two straight years of schooling (pre-K through to my Ph.D.). To say that I was a bit arrogant is probably understating the issue – I was convinced that I could “fix” any issue that any client presented.

We receive a lot of input from many sources in life that focus on who is better, richer, stronger, most beautiful, most talented, most athletic, etc. – which puts the emphasis on superlatives and its inherent competition. There are those who believe this contributes to people feeling isolated and ‘less than’.

After a wonderful vacation hiatus, I’m energized and excited to be back in the office.  I hope your holiday plans allowed you time to rest and rejuvenate! Gary and I have been focused on the topic of leadership the last few months in preparation for our all new Leadership program (more on that later this quarter!).  Today, I want to share some interesting items from some of my research.

I receive a lot of interesting and entertaining emails from friends of mine. Some I delete, and others I pass along. Every now and then, I get one that contains important public service information that should be passed along to everyone.

“Adjust your approach.” As a coach, you’re probably familiar with this concept, as different clients need different tools – and different types of communication – to achieve the results they’re looking for. But most often, these adjustments are based purely on intuition; sometimes they make a difference in the client relationship, and sometimes they don’t.

What do you do when you’re confronted with something you’re not good at?  Some people get discouraged and quit. Others keep doggedly working to get better at it, and in the process become more “well-rounded” human beings.  Conventional wisdom says that the second response is the healthy one. But the empirical evidence suggests that it’s people who specialize in an area of aptitude who are successful and happy, not those who focus their energies on becoming “well rounded.”